


delicate

by resfeber



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: M/M, xukun is stupid and chengstin are demons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-18
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-05-08 15:54:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14697441
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/resfeber/pseuds/resfeber
Summary: zhengkun are friends with benefits until one day zhengting decides he's had enough





	delicate

**Author's Note:**

> Is it cool that I said all that?  
> Is it too soon to do this yet?  
> 'Cause I know that it's delicate

“I’m sick of this, Xukun. Why can’t I do one nice thing for you without you being a complete asshole about it?" 

The sound of Zhengting’s rising voice and the subsequent echo of the broken vase in the apartment makes Xukun crunch his eyebrows together in annoyance.

“God, Ting, I don’t know why you get so pissy over things like birthdays and anniversaries when we’re not even dating anyway. I thought Ziyi gives you enough attention for you to get off my ass.”

The reply shatters the argument immediately, time almost seeming to freeze as Zhengting’s heart sinks and his chest clenches painfully, throat thickening with the urge to cry.

“Wait, wait, ‘Ting, Zhengting, I didn’t mean it, I’m sorry.”

Zhengting waves a hand in dismissal and Xukun knows the damage is done. “You’re right. We’re not together. It’s whatever,” The elder rubs his reddening eyes, “I’m gonna go.”

Xukun is stumbling over excuses but the statement burns itself into Zhengting’s mind, ripping a fresh wound in his chest.

“You know I didn’t mean that. C’mon, it doesn’t even matter.”

Zhengting swallows and pushes back his tears, refusing to cry.

“Babe,” Xukun’s fingers are warm on his shoulder, but he pushes them off, eyes dark and downcast as he quickly shoves his jacket in his overnight bag and gathers his keys in a hurried attempt to get out of the apartment and away from Xukun.

_-_

_Zhengting has a possessive streak. Xukun knows this more than anyone._

_He thinks it’s a bit cute actually, how Zhengting gets so flustered and worked up whenever Xukun talks about a one night stand or another fling in passing, yet he can’t say anything about it._

_He knows about Zhengting’s crush, how could he not? The man looks at him with actual stars in his eyes, and Xukun shouldn’t find it endearing, but he does, which is why he will never tell Zhengting that the elder is the only one he keeps a spare toothbrush at his place for. Zhengting’s closet is practically Xukun’s, not because they have a similar style, but because Zhengting has a habit of “borrowing” Xukun’s hoodies that are much too big for him and bringing them home with empty promises of giving them back. If Xukun notices, and he does, he doesn't ever mention it._

_Sometimes, when Zhengting stays over and they end up not having sex because Zhengting does something dumb like tripping and landing face first on the bed and they both can’t stop laughing long enough to do anything else, Zhengting lies on his chest and sleepily rambles about the children he’s tutoring or the new choreography he learned that day and Xukun thinks that he’d be fine if they could just stay like that._

_In the morning, though, Xukun is always the first to leave._

_-_

Three months and hundreds of missed calls later, Xukun finally begins to realize that Zhengting might be serious after all.

Zhengting had never really been this stubborn, or stubborn at all really, when it comes to him. Maybe it just comes naturally, with him having a few years on Xukun's age, but he knows the elder doesn’t yield to just anyone so easily. Their fights usually entail a cycle of screaming matches where Xukun would leave, shut his phone off and escape to his studio to practice or drive for hours on end until he decides to checks for the eventual stream of worried messages he knows would be there. 

For the past few weeks, though, Zhengting hasn’t answered even when Xukun swallows his pride to send the first text, which eventually escalated to a first phone call, and then endless unanswered voicemails and Xukun even borrowing Linong’s phone just to contact the man. Zhengting had hung up at the first sound of his voice and Xukun hates the sympathetic look Linong was trying to give him, so he stalks off, embarrassed and frustrated.

Xukun is never one to admit he’s in the wrong, reluctant to apologize first, masking all the hurt with too many drinks and a boisterous laugh that only his closest friends can tell is too sharp, too harsh, eyes wild and empty. 

With Zhengting, it’s different, because he's the first person who put up with his snarky comments and bad habits, rolling his eyes at him and telling him to shut up before moving on. No one had ever just accepted he was like that and moved on. So, Xukun muses bitterly, he most definitely picked the short straw that night, and now no one's here to snicker and pat his cheek, telling him he’s an idiot before kissing away his grin. 

Xukun’s always been the one to control things in relationships, always been the one to break things off, not the other way around, and he’s not used to this feeling of wanting to just stay in bed all day to watch awful idol survival shows and wallow in misery. Xukun realizes this thing of theirs is not quite just casual sex, Zhengting having somehow etched his way into his heart, all bright smiles and high-pitched laughter. He doesn’t like this whooping feeling in his stomach, he hates it, in fact, but that doesn’t make it go away. He crawls into an empty bed that night, with no icy feet taking up all of his leg space and no one curling up against him even as he insists it’s too hot for cuddling.

And yeah, he misses Zhengting, and he hates himself for it, but he misses him anyway.

Exam season has just finished, and it cost him two lunches and fifty bucks but Fan Chengcheng, a kid that Zhengting tutors and also one of the few people Xukun knows he actually talks to about things other than homework, finally gives him a clue of where Zhengting might be in the form of a scribbled address that points him to a suburban town half an hour away from their campus. He realizes that Zhengting maybe trying harder to avoid him than he'd thought.

Apparently, Zhengting is staying with a Huang Minghao (“But he prefers to go by his rapper name ‘Justin’,” Chengcheng had helpfully informed him through a mouthful of fries much to Xukun’s disgust) who lives alone at a house with only his butlers right outside the edge of the city. When he looks up the address in his phone, the size of the “house” makes him a little dizzy. Xukun tries to calculate how many times his student loans would have to double over for him to be able to afford a place like this, and reaches the conclusion that he’s a Sociology major and has no business thinking about numbers that high.

When Xukun arrives, he is greeted by Justin himself on the front porch. The boy seems to have recognized him judging from the way he rolls his eyes before immediately trying to shut the door in his face.

“Wait! Huang Justin, right? Can you- uh, tell Zhengting I want to talk?"

“Can I? Of course I can. I have a mouth, don’t I?” He _grins_ and Xukun thinks that the devil might be a rich middle schooler with a bad dye job.

Xukun sighs.

“Could you please do me the _huge_ favor of getting Zhengting to come out and talk to me?" 

Justin stares him down for several minutes and Xukun considers giving up and trying to break in until the boy stretches out a hand, “Entrance fee.”

“You want me to _pay_ you to call him out?” Xukun can’t begin to fathom why someone _this_ loaded would ever need his money but he has an inkling it has something to do with the other boy inside the mansion, the one he actually wants to talk to, and how Justin has been glaring at him ever since he stepped foot on his property.

Justin reaches for the doorknob again but Xukun is quicker, frantically grabbing his wallet and shoving a $100 bill at the boy. He'd have to live off of crackers and water in the next two weeks for that but it's more important that he gets what he came here for.

“Ting! Your boyfriend’s here!”

-

The cafe is crowded because the snow outside still hasn’t fully melted off yet, people rushing in and out between exams and meetings to grab a hot drink or two. Zhengting is bundled up in a red cardigan and a snow jacket that wears three sizes too big on him, nose a pinkish shade of red from the cold and the corners of lips turning down into an unintentional pout that has Xukun’s heart stuttering just a bit.

“I don’t know why you decided to go out in _this_ weather, but you wanted to talk, so talk. I have a thesis to finish.” 

“I wanted to apologize,” Xukun’s eyes scan over Zhengting’s features for any sign of discontent or hatred or maybe anger but all he gets is the sight of gray eyebags beginning to form and exhaustion seeping its way around the corners of Zhengting’s mouth. The elder has always known how to take care of everybody in the world but himself. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. About that Ziyi thing, I mean. I’m an asshole, I know, but you’ve put up with me for so long, is it wrong to ask you to do it just once more?”

Zhengting holds his gaze and sighs, gloved hands dropping down to curl around his steaming cup.

“Xukun, I’m not mad,” Zhengting says and Xukun holds back a snort, if _not mad_ equates to him being ignored and avoided him like a disease for nearly month then he doesn’t know if he wants to find out what _mad_ is. “I’m just, I’m not sure it’s a good idea for us to do this anymore.”

“Wh-”

Zhengting holds up a hand, stopping him mid-sentence.

“Let me finish. I know you know how I feel about you, and the last few months just made me realize that I’m graduating soon and you need your space and if we go on like this, I don’t think I can even stay friends with you. I know this is the last thing you want to hear from a sex friend but I can’t keep doing this with you while carrying these feelings around.” 

“And what about me?” 

Zhengting’s eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“What about _my_ feelings, huh? You’re so fucking selfish, Zhengting. Why are you deciding things by yourself?” Xukun’s voice rises and Zhengting glances around, all too aware of the other customers’ attention slowly garnering toward their table. “What about the fact that I love you?”

“You- _what?_ ” Zhengting’s lips are red and they part in shock at Xukun’s heated confession. 

Xukun closes his eyes his frustration and abruptly stands up, pulling a shocked Zhengting along with him. The snow is heavier than before, but Xukun doesn’t feel it as his grip on Zhenting’s hands tighten.

“Zhengting-ge,” The title makes Zhengting blush. Xukun has never called him that before. “I’m only going to say this once and you better listen.”

The elder’s eyes are wide and expectant. Xukun’s eyes traven down to his mouth and he can’t resist leaning in to capture it with his own. Zhengting’s response is immediate, lips moving against Xukun’s with an ardent fever and the spell seems to break.

They pull apart and Zhengting leans his forehead against Xukun, air coming out of their lips in short puffs.

“Zhengting. I love you,” Xukun grits his teeth, from the cold but more from the way his heartbeat is running a million miles a minute. “I’ve probably loved you since the night you took me to that stupid carnival downtown because you wanted to see their Ferris wheel _so_ bad. I also know you told Linong that one of the things on your bucket list is to ride to the top of the Ferris wheel with someone you love even though you’re afraid of heights.”

Zhengting’s eyes are glassy but he chuckles out loud and the memory, ears turning a bright red.

“I’ve also loved you since you gave me that ugly jumper you knitted on my nineteenth birthday and said that it was a hand-me-down that was too tight, even though it fits perfectly on me and I’m two sizes larger than you. I still want to know how you got my measurements, by the way. Creep.”

Zhengting is full on laughing now, fiercely wiping at his eyes.

“I know I’m an idiot but I’m also younger, so you can’t hold it against me. And you can’t ignore me like that again,” Xukun’s smile is gone and Zhengting feels like he’s drowning in the younger’s gaze. “And you definitely can’t leave me like that. Because I love you.”

"That's alot of demands for a confession."

Xukun whines,"I'm  _trying,_ okay."

Zhengting’s eyes are red-rimmed, chest heavy from the weight of every word Xukun has just told him, thoughts clumsily meshed together, but he slowly, hesitantly takes Xukun hand, gloved fingers lacing with shivering ones.

Xukun almost misses the ‘I love you too’ whispered against his lips but he doesn’t, and it only serves to make him pull Zhengting in tighter, rough hands on his hips gripping at all of Zhengting’s soft edges just the right way. The elder’s lips taste like vanilla latte that’s way to sweet but Xukun finds himself loving it all the same.

Later, when they’re finally home and Zhengting’s fast asleep, slender frame curling around Xukun’s body, weeks of all nighters finally catching up to him, Xukun finds that he would never trade these icy feet for the world.

**Author's Note:**

> YES the lyrics and title are from a taylor swift song who's gonna beat my ass
> 
>  
> 
> -  
> I'm procrastinating updating homemade dynamite so have this instead lol. As always, thank you so much for reading and I do appreciate comments so please let me know what you thought! If you have questions or just want to talk, i'm on twitter at @tinyvocaiist and @fuxixis ! :)


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